


Slips Of The Mind

by CynicalRainbows



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalRainbows/pseuds/CynicalRainbows
Summary: Being 'the clever one' can have it's downside.Or: Cathy has trouble with making mistakes, and Catalina helps.
Relationships: Catherine of Aragon & Catherine Parr
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	Slips Of The Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for the idea goes to the very talented 2Nerd4This, whose work you should absolutely read!  
> Also to Remeinhu (also very talented, also read their stuff!) for helping me articulate my feelings around this concept.
> 
> Also I will just never, ever have enough of Soft Catalina and Cathy. So apologies to anyone looking for me to write anything else- I just can't!
> 
> Do let me know what you think, as ever! Reviews make my day!

It started out small.

‘Your phone STILL isn’t charged? But I reminded everyone last night to make sure to remember since we were going out!’

Cathy just shrugged and turned away from Jane, pretending to be very interested in a window display of hats. She hadn’t meant to forget- she’d just somehow got sidetracked on the way from the livingroom (where she had her rapidly-dying phone) to her bedroom (where her charger was). 

Damn Kitty for distracting her- as if Cathy could resist the call to come and find out which sort of otter she was according to Buzzfeed.

(She was an African Clawless Otter, it turned out.)

*

‘You lost your buss pass again? How many times is that this month? They should give you a discount!’

Anne was laughing as she said it, but Catalina looked up sharply.

‘Again? Mija, you must have spent more on bus passes now than the rest of us put together- do you have any money left this month at all?’

‘I don’t see how that’s any of your business- it’s my money isn’t it?’ 

She hadn’t meant to sound as cutting as she did; Anna raised her head from across the room and she felt her face heat up.

‘Sorry...’

‘It’s alright.’ (Cathy noticed there was no  _ mija _ this time.) ‘Just- what a waste….’

‘It’s  _ fine _ -’

‘Hey if you’ve got money to burn, feel free to fling some my way next time, I’ll put it to good use-’

Anna shot Cathy a reassuring smile from across the room as everyone laughed at her sally and the conversation drifted on; Cathy did her best to return it.

No use in explaining that she wasn’t  _ trying _ to lose things, it just seemed to  _ happen _ . They wouldn’t understand.

*

The fans noticed of course (the fans noticed everything).

_ [Ha wouldn’t be a Sunday Session without the short one joining like five minutes late and everyone lowkey glaring LOL] _

_ [Was it just me or did anyone else notice Catherine Parr with like a whole different pair of sunglasses during Haus of Holbein tonight? New thing they’re trying maybe?] _

_ [OMG think I just shared a tube carriage with @C.Parr….anyone want to start bidding on like a legit Tudor handbag or should I just hand it in to Lost and Found? #Fail #CollegeFundRightHere] _

*

Then it got worse.

(She was trying to make it better.)

‘Why on earth didn’t you say at the time you didn’t have your purse? We could have gone back for it!’

‘Sorry….’

(It was no use explaining that she’d thought she would just be able to get by on the cash she already had on her, no use explaining that the thought of having to ask the others to wait while she went back to the house and then endure their frustrated glances and gentle chiding for the rest of the day had made her feel sick.)

And-

‘This isn’t what I asked for Cathy- it’s the wrong size, it won’t fit-’

‘I’m sorry, I thought-’

‘I wrote out very specific instructions so you’d know the exact one we needed- did you even bother to read them?’

‘I- um-’

Kitty wandered in, holding up a piece of paper. ‘Anyone need this? Because if it’s just scrap, Anna and I are playing noughts and crosses but if it’s important, I’ll leave it…’

‘ _ Where _ did you find that Kitty?’

Kitty blinked at Jane’s tone. ‘Um...on the side of the bathroom sink? I can….go and put it back if it’s meant to stay there, but it’s going to get a bit soggy next time someone washes their hands…’

‘It’s fine Kit, take it, it’s not important-’

Kitty eyed Jane confusedly for a second, then, obviously deciding this was not an argument she wanted to be a part of, shrugged and went back to the livingroom. Cathy wished she could follow her- how much nicer, to be able to go and laugh and mess around with the others, to tease Anne for her utterly transparent attempts at cheating, to laugh at Anna’s mangled imitation of what in the 21st century was known as ‘trash talk’.

Instead she stayed where she was, and tried to avoid Jane’s accusing eyes.

‘Did you just….not bother to take it?’

‘No I-’

‘You forgot. Again. And now it’s too late for any of us to go out again and tomorrow is Sunday and so I’ll have to wait til Monday, when I could have just gone to get it myself if you’d not assured me it was fine and that you were going into town anyway.’

‘I’m sorry Jane.’

Jane opened her mouth- and then her shoulders sank in resignation. ‘It’s fine. I’m sorry to go on about it, just…’ She shook her head. ‘Is it really that hard to pick up a piece of paper and then just….keep it with you for the five minutes between me giving it to you and you leaving the house?’

‘No! Of course not-’ Cathy shook her head, feeling irritation bubbling upside her at Jane’s tone.  _ Why can’t she just let it go? Can’t she see I feel awful enough about it already?  _ ‘I thought- I thought I wouldn’t need it, I thought I’d just be able to remember what it said…’

‘Well considering you’ve got whole books practically memorised….then yes, I would have thought so too-’

‘Not that it was easy to read in the first place-’ The words were out before she could bite them back and she immediately wished she could undo it- the look of hurt and anger on Jane’s face was painful.

‘Cathy. I do my best.’

Jane’s voice was very, very quiet.

She took a breath, meaning to apologise- but before she could, Jane had already left the room.

(They made it up. They always did. Even so, it took a while for Cathy to be able to look Jane in the eye again. It took even longer for her to stop hating herself.)

*

Eventually of course, things came to a head.

‘Cathy? Can I come in?’

Huddled up in her desk chair, she decided to ignore the knocking- she’d deliberately come straight up to her room upon arriving home-  _ finally, finally _ \- just so that she wouldn’t have to listen to the usual scoldings, the sighs. 

She’d brushed past Kitty without even looking at her and immediately felt awful- but she’d known that if she’d stopped to reassure the girl that she was fine, she’d end up having to answer less easy questions with the others. It was safer to just ignore them all.

‘Cathy?’

Clearly, this was easier said than done: eventually, she got up and pulled open her door.

‘What?’

‘I think we need to have a talk, mija.’

She returned to her desk chair and swivelled back to face her computer screen. The words blurred together- it was too bright in the dark room, but she tapped at a few keys randomly anyway, hoping that Catalina wouldn’t notice that she was typing nonsense, hoping that she was doing an adequate job of looking busy,  _ far too busy to be scolded like a child and tutted at like an idiot. _

There was a little pause- she could tell Catalina was waiting for something. If it was anyone else, she’d have just waited them out but her godmother was annoyingly stubborn and infuriatingly patient.

‘You want to talk. So talk.’

She knew she was being unhelpful, curt to the point of rudeness- but she also held a small hope that if she could just irritate Catalina enough, she might go away, leave her alone and let Cathy nurse her humiliation and her sore blistered feet in peace.

‘Ok mija. I will. But I’d like you to stop working first.’

Of course Catalina wouldn’t go away. 

Anne and Jane might let themselves be wound up enough to snap back and storm away in a temper- it made it easier to avoid difficult conversations with them- but Catalina, as always, would do far worse. She’d refuse to be drawn and just wait, unflinchingly and frustratingly focused on whatever the original issue was.

‘Please mija.’

If Catalina had snapped at her and told her to stop acting like a petulant teenager, it would have been easier to deal with- her calm, measured request just made Cathy feel like a child. As if she didn’t already feel foolish enough.

‘FINE.’ She spun around angrily, scowling. (She wasn’t pouting. She definitely wasn’t pouting.)

Catalina nodded, still unruffled.

‘Thank you. I wanted to ask if you were ok-’

‘Look, I didn’t mean to forget my phone alright?’

She’d intended to stay close-lipped for once, but it was impossible- when it actually came to it, she felt the same old need to try to explain, to try to make Catalina understand, to try to head off the inevitable lecture about responsibility and carelessness and  _ You’re so clever, surely you can manage little things like directions? _

‘-and I really thought I’d written down the directions properly, it’s just that I didn’t have a pen so I used one of Anne’s stupid felttips and it made it all blotchy so I couldn’t read it properly and I know I should have gone to get a real pen but I thought it wouldn’t matter and I’d remember but then I didn’t, and I kept getting it wrong and I was just going round and round in circles trying to ask people for help but no one knew what I was talking about and it just kept getting later and later and I know I missed the interview, I know I messed up but I really, really didn’t mean to and-’

Catalina put a gentle hand on her arm.

‘Whoa mija. Take a breath.’ Cathy risked looking at her godmother properly and was surprised to see that she did  _ not  _ look as if she was about to start to launch into a tirade about Cathy’s foolishness. Her eyes were kind, concerned. ‘I didn’t ask what happened, I asked if you were ok.’

‘Ok?’ 

This was not what she had expected- people asked if she had been thinking  _ at all _ , if she didn’t get bored of making the same mistakes ten times in a row, if she was being deliberately careless. 

They didn’t ask if she was  _ ok _ , as if the day’s hours of confusion and non-contact and worry and a missed interview were just an unfortunate accident rather than the direct result of Cathy messing things up  _ yet again. _

‘Yes- you must be exhausted after the day you’ve had. You’re not hurt are you? I wouldn’t be surprised if you caught a chill from wandering around all day in that flimsy denim thing.... And what about food, did you even have a chance to get lunch?’

‘I- No. I- I didn’t have my purse and-’

‘Oh mija-’

Cathy cringed at the look of disappointment on her godmother’s face, but even as she did, she could feel her own anger bubbling up too. Why did they always do that, forcing her to shoulder their disappointment in her as well as her own disappointment in herself? And why did they always seem to think that doing so would make a difference- that the mistake, already made, would somehow be fixed if they made sure to really emphasize JUST how much she’d messed up and just how avoidable the whole trouble had been?

‘Stop it! Stop it! I know, alright?’

(Or perhaps, another, more insidious part of her brain whispered, they weren’t trying to fix it at all. Maybe they just lectured her to make her realise what a useless, waste-of-space she was, to remind her that no matter what she did, she still managed to inconvenience everyone by making the same mistakes again and again-)

‘Cathy?’

Catalina looked surprised at her outburst- surprised and perhaps even a tiny bit hurt at her tone- but Cathy couldn’t spare the energy to care right now, not when she herself already felt so ridden with guilt.

‘I know it was stupid and careless and- and dangerous and irresponsible and-’

If she just spoke quickly enough, maybe she’d be able to scold herself so thoroughly that Catalina would have nothing left to say and would just leave her alone and she wouldn’t end up humiliating herself by snapping or, worse, by letting the tears burning at the corners of her eyes escape.

‘Mija, mija, stop, ok?’

Catalina leant forward and took the hands that Cathy was twisting together anxiously in both of her own.

Of course, Cathy mentally scolded herself, of course it wouldn’t work- it  _ never  _ worked. They always had to add their own tuppence-worth of opinion, no matter how much she scourged herself first.

She took a deep breath- steadying, calming- but it didn’t help, and Catalina right in front of her, holding her hands, felt suffocating, confining rather than comforting. Really, all she wanted was to be left alone- to be allowed a few hours of rest, peace and quiet to recover from the stress and weariness of trying to traverse an increasingly confusing London for half the day.

But of course she couldn’t be allowed that. As if she was the only person ever to make a mistake…. They all messed up but somehow it felt as if she was the only one subjected to the sighs and the comments about how she was too clever to make such careless mistakes, how she really should use her intelligence for something other than writing for a change-

God, she was so sick of it. She pulled her hands away from her godmother and folded her arms instead, trying to take a deep breath, trying to talk like an adult.

‘Look. I know it was stupid to go out without money and to mess up the directions but- but it’s not like you’re exactly one to talk!’ She regretted the bitterness in her tone but she couldn’t help it.

‘Cathy?’

The hurt surprise in Catalina’s face would, at any other time, have broken her own into a tearful, apologetic mess but now it left her cold.

‘I’m just saying….It’s not like you haven’t done stupid stuff too, all of you- like, what about last week?’

Catalina just stared at her so she pushed on recklessly.

‘What about when you forgot broke the kettle because you kept overfilling it and the filter got fried? Or when Kitty panicked because that guy asked for directions- just for directions, nothing else- and Jane and Anna had to go and pick her up? Or when Anne insulted that reporter in French because he thought he couldn’t understand, but then he could and we all had to write all those emails to get him not to publish what she said?’

It was unfair, she knew- the last one had been months ago, and it hadn’t been as if Kitty had  _ chosen  _ to have an anxiety attack, it hadn’t been her fault that the particular smell of the mans leather jacket had brought back...unfortunate memories for her.

It wasn’t fair….but she didn’t FEEL like being fair. It wasn’t as if they were fair to her, after all.

‘Why do you all get your own mistakes brushed off, yet every time I mess up, there’s a whole inquisition?’

Catalina flinched at the word and Cathy felt a tiny flicker of mean warmth. 

_ Good. Let her know how it feels. _

For a moment, Catalina simply looked at her without speaking and Cathy wondered if she was just going to get up and leave (although somehow the prospect of her godmother just giving up on her and walking suddenly did not seem quite as appealing as it had a few minutes ago)....but then she tilted her head.

‘Cathy, mija, what on earth are you talking about? Why bring all that up now- you know it’s in the past...’

Surprisingly, she sounded more puzzled than angry and Cathy felt her annoyance flare again: could they really all be so blind as to how she felt? Didn’t it register with them that every sigh, every scolding, stayed with her for several days at the very least, that it merely added to the huge swirling cloud of guilt that threatened to envelope her whenever something went wrong- when she forgot or misplaced or misheard something?

‘I’m not the only one to mess up!’ Her voice sounded tremulous, and overly loud in the otherwise silent bedroom but she couldn’t help it. ‘I’m not the only one to make mistakes and I’m sick of everyone acting like I am! I’m sick of it!’

To her horror, when she blinked, her eyelashes felt wet. God, she really was pathetic. She gulped back a sob, her hands bunched into fists and trembling.

‘Ok mija.’ Catalina’s voice was, if it was possible, even more measured, even more deliberately calm than usual, and her quiet acceptance took the wind out of Cathy’s sails more effectively than any number of entreaties to  _ settle down and pull yourself together. _

‘I’m just….tired of it….’

Catalina nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m sure you are- it must feel very, very unfair.’

‘It does- it is!’ Cathy blinked harder as she tried to keep herself together- silently, Catalina took a tissue from her pocket and passed it over, waiting quietly while Cathy wiped her eyes with as much dignity as she could muster.

‘Would it help if I told you that we absolutely haven’t been meaning to make you feel like that? It’s all unintentional mija, and I’m so, so sorry to have made you feel like that’s what we were implying. I’m sure the others will want to apologise too.’

They were the right words- sort of- and Catalina sounded like she meant them (at least, she  _ looked _ as if she meant them) but they still weren’t enough to cut through Cathy’s anguish. 

‘........’

‘Sorry- what was that?’ Catalina leant forward, cupping a hand around her ear to catch Cathy’s mumble and Cathy reluctantly lifted her head.

‘......You all think I’m an idiot as it is.’

‘What? Of course we don’t!’ Catalina looked genuinely shocked but Cathy didn’t feel like nodding along and letting it go this time. It had gone too far already for her to act as if everything was fine, and this felt like as good a time as any to be honest.

‘Of course you do…. At least, maybe not you, or not just you but….the others-’

Funny, how actually expressing something in words felt so much harder when having to look at Catalina’s wounded expression at the same time. Cathy struggled to articulate it. ‘Like….I can write a book but I can’t get myself to the interview to talk about the book? Or even if I get to the interview to talk about the book, I forget my keys. Or I mix up my train times. Or….just something. So I must be just….completely stupid. Or deliberately lazy and careless. Take your pick…’

Try as she might to sound nonchalant, it was harder to keep her voice steady than she would have liked. She aimed a surreptitious swipe at her wet eyes, trying to look as if she was just tucking a stray curl back behind her ear.

‘Mija no one thinks that.’ Catalina’s voice was velvety soft- she reached out to Cathy again but she flinched away.

‘Really?’ Cathy adopted a mincing, scolding tone. ‘ _ You can write a book but you can’t remember to charge your phone? _ Or  _ Maybe less time writing and more time checking you’ve got everything you need before you leave the house! _ Or even  _ You’re too clever for stuff like this, Cath!’  _ She shook her head, feeling more tears spilling over, knowing that Catalina could see and hating it. 

At Cathy’s words, Catalina sat back, looking sadder than Cathy had ever seen her before. She sighed.

‘Oh mi vida. I’m sorry.’ She looked as if she was having to force herself to keep still- her hands twitched as if she was resisting the urge to reach out to her goddaughter. ‘I think….we’ve been a bit unfair to you, haven’t we?’ 

She waited for Cathy’s tearful nod of assent before continuing. ‘This isn’t an excuse mija- just….I think we’re all so impressed by you, all of us, always, that it’s so easy to think that jokes, the comments won’t hurt. Because how could we possibly be making the great Catherine Parr doubt herself?’

She paused. 

‘But they do, don’t they? I’m  _ so _ sorry mija.’

‘It’s ok.’ Cathy had expected to have to justify herself, for Catalina to respond with a long list of her most foolish oversights as evidence that the frustration of the others was understandable. The immediate apology left her slightly taken aback and unsure of how to respond. 

Catalina shook her head. ‘It’s not. We’d never want to hurt you- you know that, don’t you?’

Cathy nodded uneasily.

‘It’s just…. I know I’m letting everyone down. And I’m so tired of it, I hate it.’

‘You’re not letting anyone down mija. I’m sorry that we’ve been overreacting to you losing things, just-’

‘No…’ Cathy bit her lip. ‘I am though, because I’m meant to be….to be better than that….so I try to just push through and work it out for myself….and then that just makes it worse, it never works out like I want it to...and then I just end up letting everyone down even more…’

Catalina considered. ‘What do you mean, work it out for yourself?’

‘Like last week- I was going to ask to go back to get my purse, but then...then I thought about how annoyed everyone would be at me forgetting SUCH a simple thing, so I thought the most sensible thing to do, the clever thing to do, would just be to push through and make sure I didn’t need my purse at all, all day. But then…’ Cathy shrugged sadly. ‘I  _ did  _ need it and-’

‘And we all got annoyed at you for not having spoken up sooner because it would have been so easily solvable…’ Catalina nodded, understanding coming into her eyes. ‘And the other day, when you offered to pick up that part for Jane’s sewing machine-’

‘I knew I’d left it by the sink as soon as I shut the door but then I thought that it was pathetic to not be able to remember two lines of writing, so I just…’ Cathy hung her head again. ‘I just decided to  _ remember  _ except I still got it wrong…’

‘And you didn’t want to call us today to explain things because you thought you should be able to find the way to the studio yourself without any help?’

‘How did you know?’

‘Just a hunch. And your bus pass?’

‘I thought you’d be annoyed that I’d lost it. So I thought I could just go back and look for it secretly and no one would know, except it didn’t work and everyone was annoyed that I hadn’t said anything right away so we could have found it then and there and-’ 

This time when Catalina reached out to hug her, Cathy sank into her arms willingly.

‘Oh mija. Pobre cosita. I’m sorry we’ve let things get into such a mess.’

‘Me too.’ Cathy sniffled, letting her head settle into the crook of Catalina’s warm neck. ‘Now everyone thinks I’m just an idiot- and thoughtless and selfish too-’

‘No. They don’t. They won’t.’

She sounded so certain that Cathy half sat up again in surprise.

‘Why?’

‘Because we’re going to have a talk with the others and explain things- explain how everything has been making you feel and how the pressure on you isn’t helping and get things sorted out, ok?’

Cathy squirmed uncomfortably in her godmother's arms and turned her face away, into Catalina’s cardigan, so that her voice came out a bit muffled.

‘Can- can you just explain? You’ll do it better than I would...’

‘I could-’

‘Thank you Catty-’ 

‘But I won’t’ Catalina finished, and Cathy pulled away enough to look up at her woundedly.

‘Why not?’

‘You need to talk to them yourself mija.’ Cathy opened her mouth to protest but Catalina shook her head. ‘Honestly- I could, but it will be better for you in the long run if you do it yourself. And I think the others would want you to, too- so that they can apologise and reassure you themselves.’

‘But  _ Madrina _ -’ Cathy knew she was whining but frankly, found it hard to care. To her disappointment though, even the use of the one name that usually turned Catalina to putty was ineffective.

‘It’s better to have these things out in the open, mija. Trust me.’ 

‘It’s embarrassing-’ She didn’t like the idea of having to put it all into words for the others- it had been hard enough with just Catalina:  _ I was afraid you’d think I was stupid so I deliberately did something even more stupid…  _ It sounded nonsensical even in her head- she could almost imagine Anne rolling her eyes and Kitty blinking at her in confusion.

‘Why?’

‘To have to admit to it: who deliberately makes more trouble just to avoid admitting to a simple mistake?’

‘It’s more than that mija, and you know it. You’re being too hard on yourself.’

‘It’s still embarrassing…’

Catalina, though, was implacable. ‘Do you think it wasn’t embarrassing for Jane to have to explain that she needed a little help when it came to reading?’

‘That was ages ago- and that’s different, Jane couldn’t  _ help _ that-’

‘-or for Anne to have to explain to us that there were some things she just couldn’t eat- when she’d been covering it up for weeks?’

Ok. Cathy had to admit that she HAD felt for Anne in that instance, when she’d had to explain that her bright insistence that  _ no, really, dinner is lovely, no it’s great, I’m just not hungry _ had been faked. Catalina pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her more tightly.

‘You’re so brave querida, you can do it- and I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise.’

Reluctantly, Cathy felt her resolve weakening. It was difficult to say no to Catalina when she began what the other privately called her  _ I Believe In You _ bit- they’d all experienced it at one time or another, and they all agreed it was unfairly effective.

‘.....Alright.’ Cathy grumpily burrowed back into Catalina’s shoulder. ‘But you have to stay the  _ whole _ time. And it’s still going to be really awkward.’

‘I promise, mija. And at least things will be sorted out after- that’ll be something, won’t it?’

‘....I suppose.’

Catalina chucked at her goddaughters grudging acceptance and Cathy found herself smiling too, in spite of herself. Catalina gave her another kiss and then turned to more pressing matters.

‘Now. Back to what we were talking about before. You didn’t get any lunch- so you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast?’

Cathy avoided her eyes. ‘Well-’

‘Mija?’

‘I….might not have been hungry for breakfast-’

‘Oh mija, you must be famished!’

‘I’m alright-’

‘Hmm…’ Catalina did not look remotely convinced. Cathy screwed up her courage and took a deep breath.

‘Catty- do I… do I have to talk to the others  _ tonight _ ?’

‘Not unless you want to mija.’

Cathy breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed. ‘I don’t want to.’

‘That’s alright- you’ve had a long day.’ Catalina smoothed Cathy’s tumbled hair. ‘Tomorrow- when you’re fresh.’

‘Maybe…’

Catalina ignored her insouciance. 

‘For now, I think you could do with a nice hot bath, wash some of the day off and help you relax, warm you up a bit- and then some supper. I’ll go and heat you up your portion now- we put it in the fridge for you.’

The thought of being able to soak away her sore muscles and aching, blistered feet in a steaming tub was very, very tempting and Cathy nodded, sliding out of Catalina’s arms and taking her dressing gown from the back of her bedroom door.

‘Ok. Thank you for saving me some dinner.’

‘Of course mija. Now do you want to eat downstairs or shall I bring it up to you?’

Cathy hesitated, robe in hand. ‘Can- can I eat upstairs? Do you think the others would mind? It’s just...town was really noisy and-’’

‘Of course they won’t mind mija. They know you’ve had a long day- they’ll probably pop up to say goodnight on their way to bed, to check in on you...but they’ll understand if you need some quiet time tonight.’

‘If-’ Cathy opened her mouth but Catalina cut her off.

‘If they don’t, I’ll explain, ok?’

‘Thank you.’ Cathy relaxed, obviously relieved but still didn’t move, fumbling with her robe. ‘Catty?’

‘Yes querida?’

‘I- I don’t want to have to talk to the others yet but…’ She twisted her fingers anxiously, feeling pathetic but also not quite able to just leave it. ‘Will you stay though? I don’t want to eat alone...’

Catalina’s expression softened and she nodded. ‘Of  _ course _ I will querida. Now shower- food- and then how about getting into bed  _ before  _ midnight, for a change? I’ll make you a hot water bottle so you can get properly cozy, you still look half frozen…’

‘Thank you Catty.’

‘You’re welcome, mi vida.’ Catalina paused. ‘I know today has been….hard. Do you want me to stay in your room tonight?’

Cathy shook her head shyly. ‘You don’t have to-’

‘I know I don’t have to, mija-’ Catalina got up from the bed herself and stretched, then came over and made Cathy look her in the eye. ‘But would you  _ like _ me to stay with you tonight? It’s perfectly fine if not, I just wanted to-’

‘Yes, yes please.’ Cathy blushed at her own eagerness but Catalina just smiled indulgently.

‘Then that’s what we’ll do. Now you go get your bath and I’ll sort out supper- and maybe a hot drink too?’

‘Coffee?’

‘Absolutely not. Horlicks?’

‘Yuck, no. Tea?’

‘Camomile tea?’

‘No, normal tea.’

‘Then no. Hot chocolate?’

‘With marshmallows?’

‘If Kitty and Jane have left any- I’ll see.’

‘Then yes please.’

‘Ok.’

‘......Mocha?’

Catalina shook her head, smiling as she left the room.

‘Don’t push your luck, mija.’

*

An hour later, a much warmer, pajamed Cathy was curled sleepily in the crook of Catalina’s arm, a fluffy blue blanket over both of them. Cathy was half listening to the Stranger Things episode playing quietly on her laptop and half dozing. Catalina was looking at her phone- after a moment, she nudged Cathy gently.

‘Mmm?’

‘Look, mija-’ Catalina tilted the screen so Cathy could read it.

‘What is it?’

‘The others didn’t want to overwhelm you by all coming up- I said you needed some quiet time tonight to recover from your stressful day.’

Cathy looked at the screen: it was their group chat.

_ Tell her we all hope she feels better soon! And don’t worry about today Cathy, London is such a nightmare! _

_ Cathy, sleep well now because I’m going to give you the BIGGEST hug tomorrow- _

_ Sorry today went so badly, lovely- but don’t worry about it, we’ll just call you an Uber next time! _

_ Sleep well little star- and if you watch any Stranger Things without me, don’t you dare ruin it!!!!! _

‘It doesn’t sound like they think you’re an idiot mija.’ 

Catalina’s smile was very gentle; Cathy let out a breath she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding.

‘I-’

‘And I, of course…’ Catalina paused. ‘You know mija...you know I’ve never ever thought of you as anything other than brilliant, don’t you? Not for a moment.’

‘Not when when I-’

‘Not for a second, querida.’ Cathy was slightly surprised at the vehemence in Catalina’s tone- surprised….and also comforted. ‘I always have done, and I always will do. Even if you never write another word- even if you lose every bus pass and set of keys for the rest of our lives… you will always be my brightest star, and I will always be so, so proud of you.’

‘Even if-’

‘Always mija.’ Catalina shifted their position slightly and pulled Cathy closer. ‘And the others- they will always love and be proud of you too.’

‘But-’

‘Mija. Think. Would you love THEM less if they decided to….I don’t know, do something different?’

‘Well no, of course not-’

‘So why should it be any differently for you?’

Cathy sighed. ‘I suppose you’re right…’

‘I’m always right.’

‘Of course you are…’

‘I’ll have you know that I was renowned for my erudition when you were but a slip of a girl, Catherine Parr….’

Cathy chuckled and burrowed back into Catalina’s warm side.

‘You know it makes you sound  _ terribly _ old when you say things like that, don’t you?’

‘....I will go back to my own bed.’

‘No you won’t.’ 

(But she took a fistful of Catalina’s shirt in her hand, just to be  _ absolutely _ sure.) Catalina smiled, and tightened her arm around her.

.

‘No, I won’t mija.’

Cathy smiled into Catalina’s shirt and closed her eyes.

Everything was ok.

  
  
  



End file.
